I'm still here!

It has been a while since I have blogged, a combination of not knowing what to say and not really having anything to say. I have noticed that no one I "follow" has posted anything new lately either. I guess everyone is on break. The kids are all doing well, Maddux is totally out of his sleeping stage and keeping me busy. Brooke is learning a new word everyday it seems like, today she came up to me and asked for a banana... it is nice to know exactly what she wants and not have to deal with crying as much. Jessie had a friend over the other night, Ziggy is her best friend. They spent all evening out in the yard running around. Matt has been working a lot, in fact he is leaving for overtime in an hour or so. Meagan and I went to see Les Mis on Saturday, I wasn't a huge fan but it was nice having a girls night out with my sister... Ms. Robin, you will be happy to know I almost finished my margarita at dinner (I don't think I can keep up with the grandmas but I am working on it :)! I have to go get dinner out of the oven but I hope to see some new posts this week!

overwhelmed

Have you ever had so many things going on in your life that you can't even think straight? It is taking everything I have to not retreat to my room and sleep until everything clears up. We are trying to get ready to buy a house, keep our current house in decent enough condition for the real estate agent to show it, keeping the kids occupied (Jessie being home has helped with that) and trying to reconnect with my hubby. They aren't lying when they say buying a new home, or having a new baby put a strain on any marriage... we are doing both. It's not that we are fighting, we don't have time for that. We just miss talking to each other and being able to hang out. He is working a ton of overtime and when we do talk it is about stressful things like filling out loan applications or calling the insurance company to make sure Maddux is covered. Our opposite schedules don't help things... I thought I would get used to Matt having night shift by now. We are in agreement that it is all in God's hands but at the same time God helps those who help themselves... we aren't going to wake up one morning and be in a new home. I guess all we can do is keep on keeping on, it is only a season. I said I wanted to become more dependant on God and He is seeing how serious I am about that.

The difference 24 hours makes!

It is so beautiful today! Not anything like this past weekend. The sun is out, there are birds singing and it is warm enough to wear shorts. This is the most exciting because I still can't fit in my blue jeans very well but I can wear my shorts from last summer. I still haven't been able to join a gym yet, we are waiting to see where we will be moving to in the next few months. Until then I will continue chasing kids and walking when it is nice enough outside. Today I will be doing my walking indoors unfortunately, we are in need of a wal-mart run and those are never quick. At least pushing the cart will help work out my arms. I guess I should go wake up my brood so we can get going. I hope you are enjoying your day!

A Means to an End...

Just be forewarned, I will probably not make much sense of this post as I can not repeat the entire sermon from today, but I will try my best to explain the things that stuck out in my mind most... with out writing a novel.

So I went to Riverpoint today, they had a great worship service that led into one of those rude awakening sermons... you know the ones that you need to hear but don't want to? The Sermon came from 1 Samuel when Saul became jealous of David and sent out his men to kill David. God said he would deliver Saul into David's hands and let him decide what to do. So we are in a scene where Saul is in a cave "taking a leak" (as the pastor ever so gracefully put it) and David sneaks up and cuts a piece of his robe off. When David went back to his men he felt bad for doing so and told his men that no one was allowed to harm him because, even though Saul was trying to kill David, Saul was still his master. I am sure you have heard the story, moving on. Even in the midst of his life being in danger, David saw God and trusted his will. He showed mercy to a man who surely wouldn't do the same for him. My troubles are so much smaller than David's and yet how many times do I forget the things he has promised me and screwed up. How does David keep from letting fear get the best of him? He could have easily killed Saul and been able to go back home and stop hiding... but he knew the things God had in store from him and let God take care of Saul. David doesn't use God as his way to become king, becoming king is part of his journey following God. Do I use God as a means to get to the end I have planned (my goals in life)? I want my ultimate goal in life to be to follow Him, and just let life happen. I am far from this point and I am only human. I know it will take a lot more work and dedication than I have probably ever put into my relationship with God but I am willing to work. Two things the pastor said that I think I will use to help me with my journey:

Don't just try to cope with difficult times, grow from them. Just coping will make you bitter. (Oh so true for me)

I am more interested in my comfort than my faith, God is more interested in my faith than my comfort. (We all know doing things God's way isn't always easy.)

Anywho... I really enjoyed church and I think we will visit again next week. Brooke really enjoyed it as well, she is becoming quite the social butterfly in the nursery. She loves being around other kids. I am off to bed now, it has been a LONG day, actually weekend.

Brrr... It's cold out there!

We went out to mom and dad's today for their 4th annual company crawfish boil. This is one of the events we look forward to all year, good food and good fellowship. It was wet and cold but we still had fun. Brooke and Davin were soaked cause they wanted to play outside where it was sprinkling, we couldn't keep them in the tent! We were tuckered out by the time we got home... Matt, Brooke and I missed the afternoon nap that we depend on these days. Hopefully Brooke will sleep all night. She has been running a fever for the last few nights so she hasn't been sleeping very well. She seems to be a lot better today so the odds are in my favor. I am going to church with Matt's mom tomorrow morning, which I am very excited about. I hate going by myself so I haven't been in a while. Brooke really loved Sunday school last week which really got me thinking that I need to get her in church now. I know she doesn't know the difference but I want her to grow up with the Christian values my parents instilled in me. I am hoping that if I have Billie to go with I will be more consistent in going. I also want to get plugged in somewhere. I really loved our old church but I didn't feel like I was plugged in anywhere. They have a great newlyweds group but I was normally the only one without my spouse there, and as a stay at home mom I didn't really fit with the college and career group. Billie's church is a little bigger than our old one so I am hoping to meet some other young mothers. I guess I will report on it tomorrow or Monday. I wanted to post a few pictures of Brooke in her new tent.

pictures!

I haven't put pictures of the little ones up in a while, mostly because Maddux sleeps a lot and Brooke likes to be on the other side of the camera. I finally got Brooke on a good day... Maddux is sleeping in his.

I trimmed Brooke's bangs on Monday after mom and Meg said they were getting too long.

This is Kitty, Nonna got her for Brooke while we were at the hospital.

She was pulling Kitty all around the house in her shopping cart.

Here is my little man doing what he does best.

Revelation

I have been having a rough few days, in general nothing has gone my way. I have really let my state of mind set the mood for the entire family, even my children have been more grumpy. I was at a loss as to what I could do to make things better. I turned to my mom and my closest friend for advice, and although it was great advice and encouragement something still wasn't settled in my heart. Then this afternoon as I was driving home from the store a song by Third Day came on the radio and it helped me reset. The chorus says, 'give me a revelation, show me what to do, cause I've been trying to find my way, I haven't got a clue' I realized that I haven't gone to the Lord broken and open to His guidance in a VERY long time. I try to keep total control of my life and never lift my burdens up to Him. As I shed a tear at the steering wheel I felt a total calm come over me. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Don't you just love that feeling? I wish I could feel that way all day everyday, without it ever fading.

Time Flies

You know that saying "time flies when you are having fun"... it also flies when you add two people to your daily routine. Not that we are not having fun, there just don't seem to be enough hours in day to get everything done. Up until today I was breast feeding which made me immobile a third of the day. I feel kind of guilty quitting but I gave it a try and it wasn't right for us. I am so used to it being just Brooke and I so adding Maddux and Matt to the mix has been a little hard on me. Not that Matt is not capable of taking care of himself but I don't feel like I should subject my hubby to the pb&j's we normally have for lunch. The laundry seems to have doubled as well. Needless to say I am VERY behind on my cleaning.

The doctor says we have a keeper on our hands, which is his way of saying Maddux looks healthy. I am so ready to get back into the gym. After Brooke was born I went through a period of PPD which kept me in bed most of the time, then before I knew it I was pregnant with Maddux so it has been almost 3 years since my last really good work out. I wish there was a way I could have all the time in the world to work out like I did in high school but I would settle for an hour 3 or 4 times a weeks right now. I go to the doctor next week so I am sure I will get the clearance then. Well it has taken me an entire day just to write this post, hopefully it won't be another 2 weeks for my next one.