So you are sitting at your desk senior year in high school, prom has come and gone, and the only thing that stands between you and that diploma is this final. There are so many questions, each one having a right and wrong answer. If you do well you can hold your head high when you walk across that stage. If you don't, well, then you have to call grandma and tell her to not worry about making the trip into town because you will not be graduating until after summer school. Will life go on after June 1st? Sure. Can you get back on track and still enroll in college by August? Absolutely! But still that pressure weighs on you as the choice needs to be made between A and C.
That has been what I have been feeling for the last several months. I have been feeling God tug on my heart that there needs to be something more, He has something big coming for me. But that fear of choosing the the wrong answer cripples me. I know that the sand is passing in the hour glass. The test will end whether I have everything answered or not. Unmarked questions will count against me just like a wrong one would. The only hope I have is that this test is open book, I can look up the answers. I can ask the teacher for help! I have to be honest that lately my time in the Word has only left me in more of a fog, but I know that "just as the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it to bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that comes out of my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." (Isaiah 55:10-11) Even when I sit in front of my bible as if I was watching a foreign film with no subtitles, I can still get something. It may not be 100 % clear but I am moving towards better understanding by just being in there. God can use my willingness. As you go through your day or week will you please keep Matt and I in your prayers as we seek God's will for our lives and our family. Also pray that we would have the courage and faith that it takes to make these decisions without hesitation.
2 comments:
I am thinking a little girl is almost here Kelli, and He is giving you the most precious gift you will have 3 treasures. I will pray for you both.
I understand what you are saying - I want to be on His path as well - but just think - you are! You are in His Word - you are praying for direction - He will reveal Himself to you in a powerful and mighty way!
At your age, I came to the understanding that my home was my mission field - I needed a safe, godly place for my children to be - the world can be so mean and hurtful - so as you are on your mission field - remember - God is there helping you and Matt raise up a might army for Him!
I am starting to see His vision for me, but I am also giving myself this entire year to have Him reveal it to me.
I am excited to see what He will do in your life as well as mine!
Just continue in what you are doing - He is faithful! love you guys!!
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